Sexual violence is more prevalent than people are willing to admit. I am a survivor of sexual assault. No easy thing to share in a public forum. I will say that out of the limited times that I’ve shared this fact you would not believe how many times I’ve been laughed at or even just smirked at. I can only understand it as people’s need to self protect. If they can make it humorous it’s not hurtful to them. Kind of like the “blame the victim” phenomena. They say the reason people tend to respond to accounts of rape with remarks like, “Well she must have been drinking” or “but her skirt was too short” or even “well what do you expect walking down a dark alley at night” is that people need to differentiate themselves from the victim so they can believe in a just world. 

So they can believe that something like that could never happen to them or someone they know. The good news is awareness of this sociological response that humans are prone to having makes it less likely to happen. When we can acknowledge those initial instincts and move past them, that is when progress is made. The reality is 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men have been a victim of sexual violence.

As a society we need to bring awareness to these thought processes and do our part to call them out when you see them, perhaps educating the person about victim blaming. After all, how many of us have been drinking, worn a skirt or walked down a dark alley. 

I also want to take a moment to look back at the #MeToo movement. I was deliberating whether this was something that I wanted to share and I actually watched some coverage from that movement when it first came out in the news and I was reminded of the strength and collaboration of so many strong women coming together. It was such an inspiring time.

It also made me think, that these are some of the most powerful and influential women in the world and to think that they reached such a level of success and to still be subjected to this kind of behavior and to know it had been going on for so long is horrible. 

In the end, to see the Weinstein case play out and having watched the Jeffrey Epstein documentary on Netflix made me realize that all of these women that were subjected to all of these truly horrible things, all I see when I look at these women is strength and determination and just to watch them come forward was so inspiring to me. So maybe with time the people who find my suffering to be humorous, maybe some day they will look back and think of me in the same light that I view all of these courageous women. 

Then again maybe not. Either way I am a survivor of sexual assault. That doesn’t define me. That doesn’t mean that’s all I am. Though if even one person hears my story and it makes them feel more comfortable coming forward than that would mean the world to me.